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Joke of the Day

"My dick hangs off to the left a bit. I guess you could say that it's a tiny bit cockeyed."

"Ramen again? This guy's a mess. -mice in my kitchen"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Marque"

"I live next door to a family of Anorexic Agoraphobics I bet they have some skeletons in the closet."

"I'm rubber. You're glue. I don't conduct low voltage electricity. You're great for arts & crafts."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? 'cause they're ugly and they stink."

"It's not all about the money. It's all about all shit I can buy with the money."

"Lindsay Lohan's personal chef is just a pinata full of cocaine."

"The Asian father reads his son's report card, where he finds a ""B"". ""B is for Burger King, where YOU'LL WORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"""

"I just made up a joke. Knock knock... Who's there? A mister. A mister who? A mister rains down in Africa. ... works better if you say it out loud."