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Joke of the Day

"Trump supporters determined to hack berniesanders.com They're just waiting for their GED results to come in, so they can operate their computers."

"There was no Mrs. Noah & the ark was lonely, thus explaining the evolutionary mishaps you'll find at Walmart."

"What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F."

"A young lady who had just been dumped by her boyfriend seemed unusually cheerful. Someone asked her why, and she replied that, sooner or later, time wounds all heels."

"A friend of mine in law enforcement doesn't like The Clash. I guess you could say that sheriff don't like it."

"A salmon that jumps on the hook for ya http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdAoQvqh7eY"

"My wife once told me "" Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms"", which pissed me off because my names not Mike"

"I just finished arguing with a friend who thought that Charlize's role as Aeon Flux was much better than her role as Imperator Furiosa. I guess to each Theron."

"BOSS: We need to improve morale ME: Okay BOSS: How about an office party? ME: [crosses out ""replace coworkers with puppies""] I guess"

"There's only one kind of people in this world 1. who are good at maths 2. who aren't 3. whose dog can come up with a better tweet than this."