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Joke of the Day

"Don't you say that about Java. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"

"[courtroom] Me: ""I OBJECT YOUR HONOR"" Judge: on what grounds? ""LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO"" Prosecutor: he's good Judge: *slams gavel* case dismissed."

"A white girl walks into a bar She passes it with flying colors and becomes a top lawyer"

"5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions... I'm just gonna let that sink in for a second."

"If at first you don't succeed try try a gun"

"Why did the peasant have poor judgement? He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks"

"How do you tell a crazy Jew that it's all in his head? ""It's psychosemitic"""

"if you run over a bicyclist with an acoustic guitar on his back the cops will pull you over and give you a briefcase with money in it"

"Did you hear about the time that /u/poem_for_your_sprog and /u/ShittyJokeExplainBot got into trouble? It was a shticky situation. I'll show myself out."

"Just misread a headline 'Trump wins big' as 'Trump bins wig'. I thought: 'about time too'."