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Joke of the Day

"Don't you say that about Java. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"

"Quitting smoking is a lot like getting out of a relationship. It's a sad and slow realization of all of the things that you used to like to do it after."

"Whag did one cat say to the other? Meow"

"What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs? ""Well, this was a waste of Thyme."""

"Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful."

"What's a thief's favorite type of armour? Steel armour"

"My Virgin friend just got 4 girl's numbers today. I've never been so proud I guess you could say his group project is getting serious"

"Ladies, If you would simply make your Facebook profile pic a bikini shot, it would save me a lot of awkward stalking time."

"I'm not stupid... ""...no! There are only 49 states, cause scientists say Pluto doesn't count."""

"""Son, I've found a condom in your room."" ""Gee thanks, Grandpa!"" ""Why are you calling me Grandpa?"" ""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."""