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Joke of the Day

"My Virgin friend just got 4 girl's numbers today. I've never been so proud I guess you could say his group project is getting serious"

"Sometimes I get jealous of the lingo black people use that I can't use. Then I remember as a white person I have things I can say that they can't like. ""Hey dad."" Or ""Thanks for the warning officer"""

"Why are gym memberships illegal? Because of the Free Exercise Clause."

"2 peanuts were walking down a dark alley one was assaulted"

"What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off."

"2 cars had a head-on collision in Mexico today.. 34 people died."

"Any jokes about failed startups?"

"What do you call it when a plant used TV Tropes? A TV Tropism."

"What do you call a lesbian toilet. Gai Waterhouse."

"[puts scarf on snowman] Girl: to keep u warm Snowman: I am made of snow. G: omg you're alive! S: ok but lets get past that. are you stupid"