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Joke of the Day

"Kisses make my day... But anal makes me hole weak."

"At what point does CPR become necrophilia? When you both get hard."

"One day, someone will call me sir without adding ""I think we're going to have to ask you to leave."""

"I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog."

"Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with excrement? It was actually sham-poo. *thunderous applause*"

"I keep my porn in the oven! My wife will never find it there!"

"I wish I had the self-confidence and assertiveness of the Adobe Acrobat updater."

"Why can't they use PC's as word-processors in Poland? The screens keep on filling up with white-out."

"Remember, guys, every day is a gift. Filled with unreturnable things you didn't ask for and don't want."

"mom: do the dishes me: i cant im ugly"