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Joke of the Day

"""At least Donald Trump says what he thinks."" Ah yes if only all racists would shout about it constantly the world would be a better place."

"*knocks on bathroom stall wall* Forgive me father, for I have sinned. ""Huh? What?"" It's been 3 days since my last- [sound of diarrhea]"

"Why is Dwayne ""The Rock"" Johnson always so sad? Everyone takes him for granite."

"I like my slaves how I like my coffee. Free."

"[office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?"

"#NoMore All of these NoMore commercials make me want to punch my wife"

"How do you know when you're eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it."

"Did you hear that the Apple CEO announced he was gay? The next day the Samsung CEO also announced he was gay and waterproof."

"A good friend will help you move. A great friend will help you move a body."

"Someone asked me to make a joke about cancer... I said, ""Sorry I can't sir."""