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Joke of the Day

"Daniel Day-Lewis walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" but he already knows because he's also Daniel-Day Lewis."

"Dirty joke told to me by an old man (NSFW) What does 70 year old pussy taste like? Depends Sorry if this is a repost."

"Doctor! Doctor! I think I have Barry Manilow's disease! ""What are your symptoms?"" ""I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!"""

"So Jack helps you off the horse. Will you help Jack off the horse?"

"""Use a spongebob quote to describe your sex life"" ""Are you ready kids?"""

"Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft."

"I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me."

"Whenever I start telling a procrastination joke, it's more satisfying to tell a deadpan one instead."

"GOD: Go forth, my tiny friends! ANTS: Hooray! ANGEL: Ok next creation ... The anteater. ANTS: The what now?"

"Why do neutrons shoot through dense material, but get reflected by softer material during Radiography? Have always been curious of this."