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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I start telling a procrastination joke, it's more satisfying to tell a deadpan one instead."

"Took my first cab ride last night And I gotta say, the price was fare!"

"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."

"In response to McDonald's pay with hugs campaign, Nationwide will allow you to pay for insurance with DEATH."

"What do you get when you scare a tree? Petrified wood."

"A little boy and his father are walking in a cemetery ...and come across a gravestone that reads ""here lies a lawyer and a good man"" The boy asks his father ""Dad, why did they bury 2 men in 1 grave?"""

"What do you get when you mix clickbait and major disappointment?"

"Why is it difficult to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message."

"A dick has a sad life His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next door neighbor is an asshole,his best friend is pussy and his owner beats him habitually.!!"

"*drives Toyota Corolla into Mordor* ""See, nobody suspected a thing"""