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Joke of the Day

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender says, ""Hey, Rene, you want a scotch?"" Descartes replies, ""No, I think not."" And then he vanishes. No dice."

"What was Rudolph's nickname? Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names. Credit to my dad."

"What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home."

"If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer."

"How can you help a starving cannibal? Give them a hand !"

"Bras are like the illuminati They're on top, hard to see, harder to unlock, and hold all the good stuff."

"Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing."

"I'm offended by the phrase ""Blood Drive."" I think it's too violent; they should rename it ""Plasma-thon."""

"Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb? A: He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him"

"Just once, I'd like to open up my refrigerator and find cartoon versions of my favorite foods arguing over which one of them is healthier."