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Joke of the Day
"Picking up a drug addict is easy... They go for any line."
Next Joke
"""Putin's Assassination Attempt On Bob Costas Fails, Matt Lauer Next Target"" (Faux Onion headline. Follow on twitter @gizopizo)"
"Portland is on fire and the nearest Trump voter is 300 miles away. Democrats have a terrible ground game."
"Q: What do you get when you cross a Wurlitzer and a photocopier? A: A reproductive organ."
"[speed dating] *girl sits down* ""hi im melan- QUICK A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS WHAT WEAPON DO YOU USE ""wha- CORRECT ANSWER WAS KATANA. NEXT"
"There are four guys walking down the sidewalk. The first three walk into a bar. The last one ducked."
"What did the young witch say to her mother? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?"
"I will base my art on something deeply personalfrom my childhood *childhood was full of mass-market products* *everyone had same childhood*"
"Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating... ""My ex-girlfriend never asked me use a condom."" ""Because she was on the pill."" ""Ambien."""
"my shower curtain grabbing my thigh while I was washing my hair is the most action I've gotten in a long time."