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Joke of the Day

"Why do seagulls only fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they'd be called Baygulls."

"Feeling cold? Just stand in the corner of your house, since it's usually 90 degrees"

"Give a retarded man a fish... And he'll plant it and try to grow a fish tree."

"Miracle? They say Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas."

"What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie Total recall"

"Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes."

"if ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember that Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too"

"What is faster than silver surfer? Quicksilver Surfer! :D"

"Elitist Perfumers no common scents"

"Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?"