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Joke of the Day

"Like I said before, I hate repeating myself"

"Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money."

"I think the problem is that I'm 20% stud and 80% muffin."

"After reading your recent updates, I'm surprised that Facebook hasn't yet asked you, ""Whatever's on your mind, could you keep it to yourself?"""

"What's the difference between a middle school flute player and a dress maker Dress makers tuck up frills"

"The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn't just ""lay in bed and watch TV all day"" I traveled very far thank u"

"I bought a gallon of Wite-Out the other day.... Big mistake."

"Did you hear about the guy who spilled beer on the stove? ... He had foam on the range."

"Charlie Chaplin called I couldn't hear him though."

"Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. ""Did you enjoy yourself?"" asked her mother when she got home. ""Oh yes"" replied Fred. ""But it was funny going to a dead zoo."""