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Joke of the Day

"WORM: Why do caterpillars think they are better than us? OTHER WORM: *is drowning in a very shallow puddle*"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MOMMA!"

"Mind Blown. Girls=Time and Money Because Time=Money Girls=Money (squared) Since Money is the root of all evil square root the squared Money Therefore Girls=Root of all evil"

"this guy said i had a chip on my shoulder. i looked over and saw a bowl of salsa on his. i knew right then kids. your father was my soulmate"

"How do you confuse a retard? Say ""purple""."

"Sochi Nobody's going to be Rushin there."

"The most common phrase in China: ""Hey! You look familiar!"""

"The only thing wrong with Bill Cosby was pudding. Pudding his dick where it didn't belong."

"my Liam Nissan is missing from the parking lot it's been taken 2014"

"My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. ""Eleven,"" I replied. ""Wow! You must be a player,"" she laughed. ""No,"" I said, ""I'm their coach."""