71238

Joke of the Day

"She was going to tell a joke Guy: I was going to tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long. Girl: I was going to tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."

"If you use the iPhone 6 upside down, boom, iPhone 9."

"What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him? HIYAH!"

"I cut my finger on a beer can, I now know how Julius Caesar felt when he was betrayed by his best friend."

"A good pun... A good pun is its own reword."

"If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet"

"A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend' that is ALWAYS in need is getting on my nerves."

"Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo? Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to."

"Guys, I don't think we should drink so much yesterday."

"I don't know how you women do it. Every time I try to ""sleep my way to the top"" I get woken up and sent to HR."