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Joke of the Day

"If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet"

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"I'm a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I'm your man."
"What do you do when a blonde girl throws a grenade at you You pull the pin and throw it back"
"It is impolite to cry in front of the whole library about your WebMD self-diagnosis of terminally sprained sciatica pneumonia AIDS."
"I started a band called 999 megabytes 6 months ago. We still haven't got a single gig."
"How do you start an insect race ? One two flea - go"
"Where did the Jewish girl go during the bombing? Everywhere."
"""No, I didn't forget your gift"" *digs in purse ""Got you this hairspr..I need that. Got you this keyring"" *removes keys"
"jokes about unemployed people aren't funny They just don't work..."
"Besides OP's mom, Which character would you like to have seen more of on the Andy Griffith show?"
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