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Joke of the Day

"Remember folks, beauty... Is only a light switch away."

"Don't drink while driving you will spill the beer."

"Got in trouble with the wife at dinner time last night. Apparently when she asked me to turn on the veg, fingering her disabled sister isn't what she meant."

"Welcome to Skagway where the population always remains the same. Every time a child is born, a man leaves town."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles."

"Accidentally ran into my ex in town the other day and then purposely put the car in reverse and ran into her again"

"What do you call a magic dog in French? A magi-chien."

"A young Lil' Wayne sits alone typing lyrics into Word 97 when a cartoon paperclip suddenly appears on-screen. [Did you mean ""digger""?]"

"I just got into an argument with Mrs. Fields She was one tough cookie"

"Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP ""Wake up!"" SLAM *runs back downstairs ""No, he's not."""