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Joke of the Day
"Ask me about my vow of silence."
Next Joke
"This house is Not going to clean itself. Apparently, I'm not either."
"How much do my arms have to weigh before I can be considered heavily armed?"
"Since Ghandi walked barefoot, and ate a diet giving him bad breath, he was... A super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis!"
"For what I lack in imagination, I more than make up for in something else."
"It would suck to be named Will in the army. ""Fire at Will"""
"So i'm sitting down at a fight and chris brown is sitting next to me He points at Rihana and says "" I'm hitting that"""
"Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, ""Awww, are you an orphan""? He said, ""Yes, what gave me away?"" I said, ""Your parents."""
"*deletes embarrassing drunk tweets *tweets embarrassing sober ones"
"One of my co-workers didn't come in today because apparently he's constipated. What a shit excuse."