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Joke of the Day

"Ask me about my vow of silence."

"I ate a vegetable... And she liked it so much she woke up."

"I just cut my hand on a box of band aids if you were wondering how I'm doing at life"

"What happens when devil worshipers do the rain dance? PrecipiSatan"

"What are some pros of living in Switzerland? Well the flag is a big plus"

"[therapy] ""Where does your fear of spiders come from?"" *flashback to Spider-Man trying to kiss me behind Applebees* They're just creepy okay"

"Really threw me off This kid started throwing out words that started with TH. I got through this, there, and they but I didn't see that coming."

"The new Battlefield 1 looks so damn good, you could say... They just knocked Call of Duty into space."

"How to stop a kid from growing up. How do you stop your kids from growing up? Ask Jozsef Barsi."

"Obama won? That's it I am moving.... ..to USA!"