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Joke of the Day

"Ask me about my vow of silence."

"What does my dad do when he's drunk and bored? Beats me"

"I switched my cellphone to 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air.. must tell you: WORST. TRANSFORMER. EVER."

"What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move? Poll dancing!"

"What did the fish say when it swam into a cement wall? DAM!"

"My ex and I split up with no hostility... We had a non-diss closure agreement"

"Why did Christopher Reeve lose the debate? Because his arguments *couldn't stand* against scrutiny."

"Why do mice have such tiny balls? Because so few of them can dance!"

"It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea."

"As the joker said, if you are good at something why do it for free..."