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Joke of the Day

"I switched my cellphone to 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air.. must tell you: WORST. TRANSFORMER. EVER."

"A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet."

"What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth? Bubblegum"

"Two cannibals have just finished dinner.. One says to the other, ""your wife made a wonderful meal"". The other one says, ""I know, I'll miss her very much"". Edit:typo Edit: your (obviously)"

"Heard your mom was into bdsm Apparently she likes to tie guys up in her rolls Sorry if this is a shit post first time poster "

"Lions do NOT share. If you try to give them half a hoagie, they will take it, plus your half, plus your arm, plus I am inside a lion."

"If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying."

"My boss told me ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume"

"Accidental Seafood I tried dolphin once...but not on porpoise."

"Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up."