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Joke of the Day

"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw."

"Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer."

"How do you say ""fuck you"" in Hebrew? Trust me"

"[mocking jay part 2] jay: come on guys please stop"

"Hey! You got your chatroulette in my peanut butter."

"How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub."

"The key to being smart is not talking about shit you don't know about. You should try it. Like immediately."

"Before you abduct someone do you have to fill in a chloroform?"

"Just been confronted by my next door neighbour, apparently there's been items going missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants!"

"What is a jew on a swing? A annoyance to German snipers."