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Joke of the Day

"Lifetime TV. For women whose own lives aren't depressing enough."

"My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full."

"For all the downvoters GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER"

"I'm rich; what am I supposed to do, hide it?"

"Accidentally ate a ball of wasabi the size of a marble and now I can smell math"

"I really would love to see two mimes arguing"

"What do you call a four-legged significant other? Dear"

"Makeup can make you look pretty on the outside, but it won't help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup..."

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell. -- Credit where credits due. Got this off of some dude's donation on Summ1t's twitch stream:P"

"Q: How can you tell if a cat is blonde? A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head."