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Joke of the Day

"It's funny how my doorbell starts working when I'm expecting a pizza delivery."

"The best vacation? Close your eyes and throw a dart at a map. Where did it land? Doesn't matter. Just keep your eyes closed and go to sleep."

"What toy should you never buy a Jewish child? A Bulldozer!"

"Luckily, children are much easier to keep alive than house plants."

"9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!? Yo, evolution: You missed one.."

"""I am"" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ""I do"" is the longest sentence? Holy shit this blew up"

"What's the difference between acetone and Hitler? One is used to remove the polish, and the other is used to remove the Polish."

"4 out of 5 urologists... ...smell their apple juice before they drink it."

"Have you heard about the Nascar driver that's in the KKK? He's a racist."

"Name two tennis stars who are famous in the hamburger world? Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!"