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Joke of the Day

"I'm 30 but I still feel like I'm 20 Until I hang out with 20 year olds Then I'm like no, never mind, I'm 30"

"[Paranormal Investigator shows up at Disney World] Ok, show me this so-called ""haunted mansion"""

"Bond, Jamaal Bond A black James Bond? Wouldn't work, he'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin."

"Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know's what's going on?"

"Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?"

"Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder."

"I thought it was you A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, ""You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"""

"A businessman becomes a president Seriously this is a fucking joke"

"What's an alcoholic's favourite type of Maths? Swigonometry."

"Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains"