72126

Joke of the Day

"Uses pic of car as profile pic. Gets hunted down by Decepticons."

"I accidentally dropped a piece of my bagel in the trash and it feels like a relative died."

"Off to the DMV. Time for new license pic. Gonna be really drunk for it. If i ever get pulled over the cop will think i always look like that"

"A pair of mittens says to a hat, ""I'll stay here, you go on a head"""

"When i apply to the job... Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: Well, I've always been really passionate about not starving to death."

"i always feel slightly dishonest ticking the ""i'm not a robot"" box because how do i know, how does anyone know for certain"

"What do you call a Chicken with lettuce on its eyes? Chicken Caesar salad."

"A pedophile and a child go into the woods It's dark and raining. The boy looks up to the man and says, ""I'm scared!"" The man replies, ""You're scared? I'm gonna have to walk out of here alone!"""

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. I don't know what they did up there, but they came back with a daughter."

"A local radio station was finishing up a competition and the woman said she was ""racking up the tally"" I guess that makes her a **tallyracker**."