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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath? Porridge."

"How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos? Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle."

"Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write ""GREAT"" on the side of thier car with my keys!"

"Why the long face? ""A horse walks into the bar and the bartender comes over and says, 'Why the long face?'"" - Not my original for sure, but always makes me smirk."

"I can prove that every redditor can read other people's minds Other people's minds"

"Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits."

"What do you call a couple, who are both in wheelchairs? A pair of polegics!"

"After seeing my dog scoot her butt across my rug, I've decided I need to up my break dancing game."

"What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire? ""Holy smoke!"""

"If I ever had the chance to name a new road, I'd call it ""Skin Road"". Just so I could laugh at the people living at number 4"