70595

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation? Irrelelephant. *...I'll show myself out*"

"Home is where your wi-fi connects automatically."

"Paris Hilton picked up the new Galaxy Note 7.... That's Hot."

"""I was going home with someone new every night. I didn't even know their names, and you know what? I didn't care."" - class hamster memoir."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom ... because the ""p"" is silent"

"Life is like a cup of coffee... No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end."

"So I heard Russia banned Scientology... I guess they're not Putin up with that."

"How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate? She was reading her lips."

"A reddit mod walks into a bar... She promptly kicks everyone out, locks the doors and, declaring herself to be the bartender, proceeds to get drunk with power."

"What does a Russian need to drink to get his alcohol level to 200mg.. ..nothing for 3 days."