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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation? Irrelelephant. *...I'll show myself out*"

"Hey, Johns, your parents thought about your name for about half a second."

"There I was, waiting to pay for my landscaping materials, when suddenly... ...I was charged for aggregated basalt."

"what do you tell a girl with two black eyes...? nothing, you already told her twice"

"It's ironic that my sitcom about Abraham Lincoln was shot in front of a live audience."

"My grandpa may be having trouble with his memory, but he still has a great sense of humor. He just told me this one: Why was the broom late for work? Because 7,8,9"

"My cover letter is just a picture of me in a sleeveless turtleneck karate chopping the word 'unemployment'."

"I just found out gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a dinosaur. Needless to say, my gorgonzola salad was a huge let down."

"Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself."

"A Nerd joke.. A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks ""any baggage to check?"" The photon replies ""No, I'm traveling light."""