5612

Joke of the Day

"A Nerd joke.. A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks ""any baggage to check?"" The photon replies ""No, I'm traveling light."""

"[friend being eaten by a bear] *screaming violently* Me: Stay calm! Don't move so much! I'm trying to take a picture for snapchat!"

"Ive just been molested by a group of mime artists... They did unspeakable things to me."

"A giraffe walks into a bar He says ""High balls on me!"""

"what's the difference between a cat and compound sentence? one has claws at the end of it's paws...the other has a pause at the end of it's clause."

"""I'll have a cheeseburger with a large coke,"" The blonde girl requested. ""Excuse me miss, this is a library."" ^^""I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke,"" she whispered."

"When I was young, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. . . . I was right."

"What do you the balcony seats at the theater? The Wilkes Booth."

"The best part of waking up is still mystery to me."

"*walks up to a group of sad people at a funeral* Do y'all know the wifi password"