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Joke of the Day

"There I was, waiting to pay for my landscaping materials, when suddenly... ...I was charged for aggregated basalt."

"Just watched an Asian toddler make a fully functional iPhone out of a piece of cheese and some copper."

"Gravity is just a myth. We all know it's the white man keeping us down."

"Do you know how to tell when Trump is lying? His lips are moving."

"When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you give them the nut or the butt?"

"What do you call a loud Trump supporter? A Trumpet."

"When #EgyptAir announced ""he's not a terrorist, just an idiot"" My ex wife phoned to see if it was me."

"Why did the cannibal get indigestion after eating his high school debate team rival? He ate something that disagreed with him"

"I accidentally fell off a 50-foot ladder but good thing I was only on the 3rd step"

"(-i)^2=-1. Moral: If you fiddle with imaginary problems too much, shit's gonna get real."