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Joke of the Day

"Why does the CPU never get any work done? Because it gets interrupted constantly."

"I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands... Clunk. These are heavy."

"Why are there no black CIA agents? Because you'd never be able to convince him to help the massive drug smuggling conspiracy that's shipping cocaine into his family's neighborhood."

"Why is Jewish apple cake Jewish? Because it's baked in an oven..."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to let a lentil in my mouth."

"Ask someone if they'll watch your bag for you but never actually leave just sit there and watch your bag together with your new friend."

"Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money."

"My SO thinks it's sexy to bite her lip... I haven't got the heart to tell her it should be the bottom one...."

"Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant? Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'"

"My Version Of Flirting! My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive and hoping they're braver than I am."