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Joke of the Day

"A man saw a jar at a store's check-out counter that read ""Donate $1 for children"". ""That's a good deal!"" he thought."

"The scariest moment in any man's life is when his wife stops talking and it's his turn to say something in a conversation he's been ignoring"

"What's the difference between snow men and snow women? Snow balls"

"I'm terrible with directions. Fuck me, left?"

"What's the difference between traffic and strawberries? You can eat strawberry jam."

"What happened when the lepers played poker? One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently."

"What's the difference between Java and JavaScript? Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are."

"Q: What happens if you cross a goldfish's brain with a dog? A: I don't know, but it's great at chasing submarines"

"If I had a time machine I'd destroy the invention of autotune and say ""good luck being famous now you talentless brats!"""

"*raises hand in class* can you repeat that, I haven't been paying attention all year"