70403

Joke of the Day

"Please don't tag me in photos where I'm not wearing my roller skates, I'm looking for a boyfriend."

"Little kid making faces at you from his bus window? Follow him home and make faces through his window at night."

"Always take one positive friend & one negative friend on road trips. Then if your battery dies, you can hook cables to them & start your car"

"I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed."

"18: I'm going to ask the stylist what color screams parental issues. Me: ..."

"I was watching a TV program on various Religious orders and how the use stringed instruments. I was appalled by the amount of sects and violins!"

"A clearly exhausted Pao walks into a pub and orders a drink.... The bartender asks ""long day?"" ""No, all days are 24 hours long"" Pao replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is."

"if you turn the patterns on their shirts 90 degrees... the trusted REFEREE becomes the despicable PRISONER.... truly life is a fragile Bitch"

"""Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!"" Exactly ""What?"" It's inflation ""I hate you"""

"If swallowing battery acid mixed with Dr. Pepper doesn't turn you into a wizard, then call me an ambulance."