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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect changed 'get a life' to 'get a wife' and now my daughter is a lesbian."

"I got fired from my job at the sperm bank I said ""Get a load of this guy,"" every time someone walked in."

"guy next to me on my flight is just staring forward. no movie, no book, nothing. so its been nice knowing you I'm about to be murdered"

"Warning: Dad Joke But it's a classic. Grasshopper walks into a bar and sits. Bartender says, ""Hey, we got a drink named after you."". Grasshopper says, ""Wow. You got a drink named Kevin?""."

"Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public."

"Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ""Who has more testicles?"" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5."

"The rotation of the earth. Really makes my day."

"When it comes to distinguishing male genitalia from female genitalia... There's a Vas Deferens."

"How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 3: One to screw it in, another to film it, and a last one to say ""sick turns brah!"""

"Why do Baptists forbid premarital sex? Because they're afraid it could lead to dancing."