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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None...he fell"

"I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit."

"[magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half"

"So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend."

"If you ever meet a girl named stone... Don't take her for granite"

"aesop: man what you did was not cool. like imagine if a fox did what you did to me, and i was a goose. that makes it much clearer right?"

"What's the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face"

"What's Michelle's favourite vegetable? Barackoli (I'm sorry I'll leave now...)"

"The reason why I am single. Watching batman vs superman with gf. Suddenly wonder women's entry, instant boner. Gf ask wtf is that. I replied dark knight rises"

"Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up! Garage door is broken"