70187

Joke of the Day

"""Hi, how much for a slice of pizza?"" A slice is $2.50, and second slice only $1. ""I'd like 3 second slices please"""

"Hi, I'm black and I can't stand the stereotype that we are all criminals. -Sent from your iPhone"

"I'm socially constipated... I haven't given a shit in years"

"Google Assistant gave me that one What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener"

"Yo mamma is so fat her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight."

"Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."

"Have you heard about the guy who reanimated the dead? He made Mary Shelly roll over in her grave."

"What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale? ""It was an absolute steal!"""

"Sometimes when i don't want my wife to find something I Put it in her purse"

"What Makes a Penis and a Rubik's Cube Similar? They both get harder the more you play with it."