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Joke of the Day

"What would be your reply? Someone stops you in the middle of the road and asks you to tell him a good joke, What would be your reply?"

"If a tree falls in the woods.. ..and nobody is around to hear it, then I've found the perfect place for Justin Beiber"

"Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at sea."

"I tried to get an hourglass figure... ...but then I realised it would just be a waist of time."

"I hate being used as a thesaurus. A mate just asked another term for ""monkey dung"" and I went apeshit."

"i sneezed and all my butt drugs fell out"

"A guy walks into a bar... *clang!*... he says ""ouch"" and ducks next time."

"If it was the Well Constructed Tower of Pisa, no one would give a shit."

"I'm not informed enough to vote.... Who do you think i am? A redditor?"

"Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?"