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Joke of the Day

"I was loving the song with the great beat in the lunchroom at work today when I realized it was the dishwasher running. It's great to be me."

Next Joke
 
"I just got laid. But don't worry, I was totally thinking about you guys the whole time."
"""is this the Krusty crab?"" No! This is Patrick!"
"What's the best was to piss off an archaeologist ? Hand him a used tampon and ask him which period it's from."
"How do black people get to Hogwarts ? They go through wall 9 3/5"
"Use your whole data plan each month. There are children in China that have no data plan"
"[SKYRIM JOKE] Why didn't the Nords win the theater audition? They should have acted."
"Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree He's wanted dead and alive"
"Time to be creative. I'll give you the punchline, you give me the joke! A dresser without drawers."
"Today a tiny hat was convicted of murder... They say he finally just broke down and con-fezzed to the crime."