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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast? A: Because their schedules are so flexible."

"Why is Paul Walker and Rihannas new song the same? They both went up in flames."

"The difference between being erotic and being kinky? It's erotic if you use a feather... ...but it's *kinky* if you use the whole chicken."

"A German installs a bath around his table Badumtisch"

"I'm 6'5"" and I can't stop talking down to everyone"

"Always amazed when I see people slip guns into the back of their pants. How is that comfortable? How do you not get a weapon wedgie?"

"What do you do if an elephant comes through your front door? Swim towards a window"

"What is the definition of stalking? When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it"

"Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years."

"You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?"