69998

Joke of the Day

"Cop: You doin drugs? ""No"" Cop: Whatya smokin? ""Pot"" Cop: THATS DOING DRUGS ""Ohh I thought you meant like [whispers] having sex with drugs"""

"What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe"

"You can't let me into the club? Maybe my friend Benjamin Franklin can persuade you... *comes back 45 mins later in a bad wig, holding a kite*"

"I just got arrested for using my iPhone It looks like I'm going to Face Time"

"Why are guys so bad at math? They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches."

"What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator."

"Incest! A game for the whole family"

"My son walks in on me masturbating. He asks me what am i doing. I say, don't worry son you will be doing it soon. Why dad? he asks. Because my arm is getting tired"

"First time sex. I would tell you but the joke would finish to fast."

"Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."