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Joke of the Day

"You can't let me into the club? Maybe my friend Benjamin Franklin can persuade you... *comes back 45 mins later in a bad wig, holding a kite*"

"""Dumb as a bag of hammers"" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once."

"Therapist: Do u ever feel like hurting yourself Me: No T: What about other people Me:.....................................................No"

"What did the Priest say to the Church of Vegetables? Lettuce pray."

"If I were to redesign the alphabet I would place D as the 8th letter. ... just so that 8 == D."

"I received the oddest dollar bill as change. When I looked closely, I noticed that George Washington was wearing face-paint, a wig, and round, red nose. It was obviously a clownterfeit."

"Probably the greatest 'a guy walks into a bar' joke ever! http://youtu.be/7UBCdzJuB34"

"Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie? It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle."

"Is your food spicy Sir ? No smoke always comes out of my ears !"

"My girlfriend told me to stop listening to Oasis I said maybe.."