15773

Joke of the Day

"My son walks in on me masturbating. He asks me what am i doing. I say, don't worry son you will be doing it soon. Why dad? he asks. Because my arm is getting tired"

"*on the phone Him: where are you?! Me: I'm just waiting for the train Him: hurry up Me:...no problem. I'll be waiting faster"

"How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day? F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)"

"So, I found three different sized socks while cleaning my room. That's odd..."

"What do you call three Trumpies? Drei rot."

"(Offensive joke) What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven? 2 large planes"

"Two spices are talking One spice says ""man it stinks like b.o. in here!"" Other spice says ""come on man I'm only cumin"""

"When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough."

"I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder."

"what is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? snowballs..."