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Joke of the Day
"Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple."
Next Joke
"My wife's online shopping downstairs so I'm upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart."
"What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman? She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out? Bruce's up for the evening."
"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize? He's out standing in his field."
"If the employees in your human resources department were all very into Aleutian sea birds. . . Around Christmas time, everyone would be sending HR Puffin Stuff."
"""if you could be any animal what would you be"" a cat ""why a cat"" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff"
"What is the difference between a jew and a Christian There is no difference. I don't discriminate when I kill."
"Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory? He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, ""Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."""
"I like my women like I like my coffee...... Ground up and in the freezer"
"Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I'm reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild."