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Joke of the Day

"Do you wish you were always broke? Are you tired of having a thriving social life? Is too much sleep boring you? Parenthood. It's for you"

"How long do chickens work ? Around the cluck !"

"I was walking through Home Depot yesterday when I tripped and knocked an industrial vacuum cleaner onto a bunch of carpentry tools. It sucked on so many levels..."

"Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it: chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics..."

"Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? ""It's open."""

"There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't."

"I looked up ""thesaurus"" in my thesaurus and it says ""Don't be a smart-ass""."

"Why do they call it a ""shit-eating grin""? I don't think I'd be smiling if I was eating shit."

"If you watch Cinderella backwards.. It's about a woman who learns her place."

"They should make a breathalyzer that can tell if you've consumed energy drinks so it's easier for the cops to catch rapists."