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Joke of the Day

"Why'd the ISIS fighter bring his son to the execution? Like all fathers, he wanted his son to get ahead."

"I have more memory of my conception than I do of last Saturday night... though sometimes I really wish my parents hadn't done porn."

"Cum on guys, gay jokes are not funny."

"What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs? Methed up"

"Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created."

"What did constipated Yoda say to his fecal impaction? ""I shit you not."""

"Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand? She needs the other to moan."

"In the winter you just need to find a corner... Because its 90^o degrees there..."

"Nice try ""blocked number"", but I don't even answer the phone for people I know."

"Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it."