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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I tried anal for the first time... is it supposed to hurt this much? i couldn't sit upright for a while..."

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"What do you call a French pole vaulter? A Leap Frog"
"Two toothpicks are walking through the forest they come across a hedgehog. Says one to the other ""Look, a bus!"""
"three gay guys are in a hot tub [NSFW] when a big blob of semen floats to the surface. one guy says while looking at the other 2 ""ok, who farted?"""
"What has 40 teeth and holds a monster at bay? My zipper."
"Capitalization can really change a sentence. For example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization."
"Hate it when dudes say ""leave something to the imagination!"" like what do you think is under my clothes? a mystery prize? a pumpkin? Obama?"
"What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on? It twerked."
"Come here you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all right Dad I know how !"
"What do you call smart boobs? Scientits"