69890

Joke of the Day

"Me: I won't be in due to a VOLCANO Boss: ..we live, in Florida..? Me: IRRELEVANT Boss: Me: *opens 3rd bottle of vodka, puts on arm floaties*"

"Hate when I'm being chased by a shark and I make it to land, only to find out he's tied to the back of a tiger."

"Shipment of Viagra was stolen from new York harbor The cops are on the lookout for hardened criminals"

"1987 was a great year for the payphone."

"My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown."

"Why did the airplane no longer work? Because it was **terminal**ly ill. I'll show myself out."

"Just remember ...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."

"What do you call a criminal with an STD? A herpetrator."

"freddie crougar once impersonated chuck norris and that is the reason why we have nightmares"

"Came with our Christmas cracker Q: Did you hear about the man who stole the advent calendar? A: He got 25 days."