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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice."

"My dyslexic son came last in the school pottery contest... He wrote a poem."

"Classical pun Why have they not found Mozart's body yet? Because he is Haydn."

"Congratulations, Americans who write ""Cheers"" at the end of e-mails. You've found something even more pretentious than ""Sent from my iPhone"""

"Pallbearers are Dead Lifters"

"There once was a woman named Hill (ary) There once was a woman named Hill whose cunt was of case-hardened steel. She would get a great thrill from an emery wheel, or an off-center pneumatic drill."

"What is it called when someone gets destroyed at online chess? Extreme Pawnage"

"One time I didn't masturbate for 11 years... ...Then I turned 12."

"I would tell you a joke about Iowa... ...but it'd be pretty corny."

"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather. Not screaming and flailing about, like his passengers."