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Joke of the Day
"Guns don't kill people... ... Husbands who come home early, kill people."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between rearranging your schedule and getting to second base with an ex-girlfriend? One is playing with your priorities, the other is playing with prior titties!"
"Her: You know I love it when you pull my hair... Me: Yes, baby Her: But the other people at this PTA meeting are beginning to stare."
"Me on Masterchef: Ive made a roasted pork kebab breaded with buttermilk cornbread and served with a tomato reduction Them: This is a corndog"
"After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.... ...Picking up the phone, he spoke ""Hebrew."""
"I can't show how much I hate exclamation points without looking like a hypocrite."
"All the toilets have been stolen from Scotland Yard The police have nothing to go on"
"Why do they never serve a beer at math party? Because you can't drink and derive"
"What's a pig's favourite casino game? Porker."
"Do you eat to much sodium? Na."