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Joke of the Day

"""They like to buy t-shirts reminding each other of the words from movies they have seen and enjoyed"" - me finishing my report on humans"

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a book? The book has papers"

"What do you call a blind deer? No-eye-deer. What do you call a blind dead deer? Still no-eye-deer. What do you call two blind deer that died while having sex? Still no-fucking-eye-deer."

"Have you ever heard of the ckicken plant? I guess the eggplant came first! I work at a grocery store and a guy in the produce department told me this. He thought it was hilarious"

"Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could."

"How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? ""Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."""

"Why was the lady's hair angry? Because she was always teasing it."

"Her lips were saying ""no""..... But her eyes were saying ""read my lips""...."

"The Australian border patrol is so good... they even stop the good internet from reaching Australia."

"How did a Chinese spy disguise himself as an Arab in America? He became a Muslim."