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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone need an ark? I noah guy!"

"I honestly respect reality show people for the sole fact they can do their interviews weeks later and speak as if it's presently happening"

"I think the real reason men don't lactate is because we would just be irresponsible and squirt each other with it."

"Trigger warning!! The next 4 years in America"

"If a man stands alone in a forest... If a man stands alone in a forest, with no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?"

"What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween? ""Land Hoe!"""

"I have an invisible friend. I haven't seen him for some time now."

"Which pool ball do guys most commonly stick up their ass? The cue ball so they don't have to buy a whole set when it gets stuck Edit: It doesn't matter because you can buy individual billiards balls"

"This guy said,""I can predict what's going to happen to your nose."" I thought,""Crikey! It's Nostril-damus!'"

"Did you here Whitey Bulger was put in solitary confinement because he was caught masterbating in his cell? It was a sticky situation."