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Joke of the Day

"""What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?"" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome"

"Why did the console gamer cross the road? To render the buildings across the street."

"Where do you hide after a murder? Behind a badge."

"Why is poop tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut!"

"The Madame opened up a new sporting-house with an eye to cutting costs. She had all the rooms on one story to cut out the fuckin' overhead."

"My answer to everything today will be FUCK YOU, I'M AN ANTEATER!"

"Yahoo news reports that Johnny Manziel was forced to sit in the middle seat of an airliner. I guess they should have let him fly the plane."

"A joke that is mildly racist How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo? Because they only had two pickup trucks"

"How does Harry Potter do web design? Inspecto Elemento"

"According to every 80s movie ever, the only way to get home from school is by standing up in the back of a Jeep Wrangler with 5 other people"