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Joke of the Day

"The Madame opened up a new sporting-house with an eye to cutting costs. She had all the rooms on one story to cut out the fuckin' overhead."

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"That awkward moment when your kindness is mistaken with flirting."
"My son has the ability to predict what will happen in the future and later explain why it didn't happen. I think I'm raising a politician."
"Why are photographers always so depressed? Because they always focus on the negatives."
"""Hello, this is Steve, my wife is listening."" - How I answer every phone call since my wife bought Bluetooth for my car."
"How much does a dragon weigh? Wonton"
"Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war? He lost it in a hair raid."
"So since Donnie Yen is in the new Star Wars Rogue Squadron movie... Will his ship be called the X-Wing Chun?"
"""In case of emergency break glass"" Who do you think I am? Some sort of karate expert? I can't even open a Cheetos bag."
"Knock Knock Who's there ... Fuck You"